jumba asked:
Along the shoreward edge of the shallows the advancing clearness was full of strange, moonbeam-bodied creatures with fiery eyes. here and there a larger pebble clung to its own air and was covered with a coat of pearls. the tide swelled in over the rain-pitted sand and smoothed everything with a layer of silver. Now it touched the first of the stains that seeped from the broken body and the creatures made a moving patch of light as they gathered at the edge. the water rose further and dressed Simon’s coarse hair with brightness. the line of his cheek silvered and the turn of his shoulder became sculptured marble. the strange attendant creatures, with their fiery eyes and trailing vapors, busied themselves round his head. The body lifted a fraction of an inch from the sand and a bubble of air escaped from the mouth with a wet plop. then it turned gently in the water.
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Along the shoreward edge of the shallows the advancing clearness was full of strange, moonbeam-bodied creatures with fiery eyes. here and there a larger pebble clung to its own air and was covered with a coat of pearls. the tide swelled in over the rain-pitted sand and smoothed everything with a layer of silver. Now it touched the first of the stains that seeped from the broken body and the creatures made a moving patch of light as they gathered at the edge. the water rose further and dressed Simon’s coarse hair with brightness. the line of his cheek silvered and the turn of his shoulder became sculptured marble. the strange attendant creatures, with their fiery eyes and trailing vapors, busied themselves round his head. The body lifted a fraction of an inch from the sand and a bubble of air escaped from the mouth with a wet plop. then it turned gently in the water.
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Tags: Coarse Hair, Rain, Shallows
What are the words or phrases that are the strongest to you? I’ll note a few to start you off: strange (repeated twice), moonbeam-covered, “became sculptured marble”. What do these suggest to you? Are they describing something ordinary? What other words or phrases support your conclusion? What is the pace of the sentences – are there many short, choppy ones, or are the sentences longer and more flowing?
Answer those questions and you’ll have the perfect answer.
The tone in this paragraph is in counterpoint style, i.e., there are alarming words (strange, shallows, fiery eyes) and words suggesting majesty (moonbeam, pearls, silver).
To analyze the tone, you have to look at each individual word. Many, of course, will be neutral. But weigh the feelings each word gives you. Weigh the overall feelings (alarming vs. majestic) and put it into your own words.